You have little say in how you feel and how you will experience grief (but) you do have choices about how to deal with those feelings.
~ Kenneth Doka. Grief is a Journey: Finding your path through Loss
Kenneth Doka, a respected grief counsellor and author, states repeatedly that feeling sad, missing the presence of our loved ones, long to not be grieving are all normal responses to a loss. He describes grief as often unexpected and crippling. And yet, he tells us that we are not powerless, not without choices. We can deal with our feelings in a myriad of ways, some healthy and some less-than-healthy.
Lonely? Call a friend and meet for dinner or coffee. Bake a pie and have someone over to help eat it. A different outing or dessert time than you had with your partner but a few hours of food and conversation will easy the emptiness, just for today.
Sad? You can live with that lump in your chest or, you can ease it by writing, speaking, crying — all ways to move that emotion out of your body.
Feeling crippled by your grief? Make an appointment to talk to a professional. Find a grief group in your area and call for information.
You have choices. Make just one today.
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