In my last post, I talked about the struggle a surviving spouse has when they realize that they are now on their own financially. I talked about how couples make their goals and plans with a “we” and “our” perspective and how difficult it is to adapt to flying solo. I mentioned that this adjustment … Read More
Regret usually isn’t the first grief emotion we experience. Shock and sadness hit first, but as time passes, a sense of sorrow that we missed doing or saying something becomes regret. I always use the metaphor of pot of stew to describe the emotional aspect of grief. The liquid is the sadness. Sadness washes over … Read More
When I worked as an investment advisor, one thing that I saw widows struggle with after their spouse or partner passed way, was the realization that now they were on their own. I don’t want to imply that the surviving spouse was helpless at managing the financial affairs. Not at all. In fact, with the majority … Read More
In recent posts, I covered some of the basic elements of estate planning, including information on wills and executors. Another topic I get questions on is probate. When it comes to settling an estate, many people don’t understand what probate is and what it’s all about. The following general information will provide answers to common … Read More
In my last post, I talked about the basic concepts regarding wills. In this post, I’ll run through what an executor is, what the executor’s role is, how to choose an executor and how to work with an executor. What is an executor? An executor is the person or entity (when a corporate executor is … Read More
When I was an investment advisor, estate planning often came up with clients. The focus was on planning for the eventualities. Having an up-to-date wills, having an executor appointed, and how probate works were commonly discussed. In the planning process these topics feel more abstract because they pertain to an event that will happen in … Read More
Marie continued to cry daily, in spite of the therapeutic work we had done together after her husband’s death. She struggled to understand how her adult children managed to just go on with their lives not long after the funeral. Did they not love their dad? She was still so raw and they appeared to … Read More
As you may have read in my biography on this site, I am a counsellor and thus, in my work, I see grieving clients regularly. Some are grieving a death but other times it is the loss of a relationship or even a job that he or she loved dearly. At some point in their first session, … Read More
In my last post, I discussed the benefits of having a financial “buddy” to help you over the 12 to 18 months following the death of your spouse. I highly recommend finding someone you trust to help you carry out some of the financial decisions that you’re going to have to make during that time. … Read More
Adele came into my office having had a hard week. Her husband had died a year ago. She had said a few weeks ago that she thought she was coping better but now, the car needed work and there was some confusion re finishing up his last tax return and all this felt like too … Read More
Following the death of a spouse, there are a number of decisions and steps to take that need to be done immediately and some that will need to to be taken care of within a few weeks or months. And, still other decisions involving the settlement of the estate and making future financial plans will … Read More
When tragedy first strikes, there seems to be a disconnect between our physical selves and our emotional selves. Terri noticed this within days after Jon’s funeral. When she was home, the quiet closed in on her and she wanted out. If she went to the mall or a coffee shop, there were too many people … Read More
