On a brisk September Saturday morning, I hurried downtown. My mission? The Word on the Street Festival, a yearly event hosted by the Lethbridge Public Library. I particularly wanted to hear Sharon Butala, having recently read her book Where I live Now: A Journey through Love and Loss to Healing and Hope — remembering my … Read More
“Loss has taught me that the death of a spouse or partner affects every aspect of the day.” — Barbara R. Wheeler, DSW Barbara R. Wheeler, the author of this slim volume (so slim, I struggled to find it in the library’s hold section) spent her career teaching future clinical social workers. As a therapist … Read More
Amy flinched at Carrie’s facial expression as Carrie walked toward her. One more friend. One more awkward exchange. One more “How are you doing?” or some other such question. If you’ve followed this blog or read anything in the area of grief and grieving you know that the grieving process is often referred to as … Read More
“We don’t do grief. Yet grief still does us.” (About Grief, Marasco & Shuff, 2010) As in my previous post on eulogies, this reflection was inspired by a book currently on my desk. I’m taking a break from my day-to-day work and for 4 weeks, living in a different city with —to my delight — … Read More
“And he leaves to mourn, with fond and loving memories…” When I first began my work as a counsellor, I was asked about value of a eulogy “because they just make everyone cry”. My response was that, to me, the eulogy was vital to funeral or memorial service. The eulogy was the one time when … Read More
As our bodies age, we notice that scrapes and bumps which once healed quickly (and still do so on our young grandchildren’s bodies) now take months to disappear. Signs of aging and physical scars go together in lockstep. One scar, on my right thumb, now looking like the letter Y, has served me well as … Read More
Pick up any grief book. Or, google grief and loss. Talk to anyone who has buried a loved one, and all will tell you that, when grieving, you should lean on your friends and family. You will read and hear repeatedly that when grieving you should gather the people who love you and accept their … Read More
Regret usually isn’t the first grief emotion we experience. Shock and sadness hit first, but as time passes, a sense of sorrow that we missed doing or saying something becomes regret. I always use the metaphor of pot of stew to describe the emotional aspect of grief. The liquid is the sadness. Sadness washes over … Read More
Marie continued to cry daily, in spite of the therapeutic work we had done together after her husband’s death. She struggled to understand how her adult children managed to just go on with their lives not long after the funeral. Did they not love their dad? She was still so raw and they appeared to … Read More
As you may have read in my biography on this site, I am a counsellor and thus, in my work, I see grieving clients regularly. Some are grieving a death but other times it is the loss of a relationship or even a job that he or she loved dearly. At some point in their first session, … Read More
Adele came into my office having had a hard week. Her husband had died a year ago. She had said a few weeks ago that she thought she was coping better but now, the car needed work and there was some confusion re finishing up his last tax return and all this felt like too … Read More
When tragedy first strikes, there seems to be a disconnect between our physical selves and our emotional selves. Terri noticed this within days after Jon’s funeral. When she was home, the quiet closed in on her and she wanted out. If she went to the mall or a coffee shop, there were too many people … Read More
