Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.
~Norman Cousins
A significant part of the grieving process is a relearning/recreating of ourselves. Loss is often described as ‘shattering’, that is, as if we ourselves have shattered as truly as a dinner plate on a tile floor. A part of us, some pieces of that shattered dinner plate, seems to have died with our loved one.
But we are not dead. While this dying-of-self may appear to be true, while grieving we often discover other parts of ourselves that have never been acknowledged, expressed or encouraged. To move through the grieving process, we have to relearn who we are. And, in the process of doing so, may find gifts, talents, and a new kind of courage that are surprising even to ourselves.
Before death touched us, we became ourselves as a result of a myriad of influences — our families, our education, our social circle — and the re-learning/recreating of ourselves will be equally complex.
Notice this change. Embrace it. Do not feel guilty for it. You are healing. And becoming.
Photo credit: Robyn Budlender on Unsplash
