“Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” — Marcus Tullius Cicero (Roman Orator) From the beginning of time, people have supported each other during a time of bereavement. One person suffers a loss; another provides the strength to carry on. Some grievers reach out to … Read More
“You’ve got to trust yourself. Be gentle with yourself. And listen to yourself. You’re the only person who can get you through this now. You’re the only one who can survive your story, the only one who can write your future. All you’ve got to do, when you’re ready, is stand up, {and begin again.}” … Read More
“He was swimming in a sea of other people’s expectations. Men had drowned in seas like that.” ― Robert Jordan, New Spring Whether the expectations are yours or other people’s, grief always includes things to do and things left undone. And, although Robert Jordan uses the pronoun he, drowning in a sea of expectations is NEVER … Read More
“I can do Hard Things” is a popular quote right now and yet, no one knows who to attribute it to. One of our focus group of widows said “always do the hard things” is her one bit of advice to new widows. Hard things come in many categories and across time. What is a … Read More
“Grief teaches the steadiest minds to waver.” ― Sophocles, Antigone Another quote says, “Be Strong when you are weak. Be Brave when you are scared and Humble when you are Victorious. “ — Michelle Moschetti Also true, but not necessarily helpful when grieving. Often when someone we love dies, someone will “encourage” us to be strong. … Read More
When tragedy first strikes, there seems to be a disconnect between our physical selves and our emotional selves. Terri noticed this within days after Jon’s funeral. When she was home, the quiet closed in on her and she wanted out. If she went to the mall or a coffee shop, there were too many people … Read More
Jane came into my office having said goodbye to her husband two years ago. Her son accompanied her to her first session. Her son explained that Dad had died two years ago and that Mom, a frail woman in her 80s, still had no closure, that she had been unable to get over it. I … Read More
Shock. Disbelief. Numbness. This isn’t real. Can’t sleep. Can’t eat. Paralyzed. Going through the motions. Simply no idea of what the next step is. All of the above are common and reasonable responses — if reasonable is even an applicable word for those initial hours and days — to the sudden death or terminal diagnosis … Read More
“I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King Not every grieving person cries but most, if not many do. When we cry in someone’s presence, often our embarrassment prompts us to say, “sorry”. We say “sorry” as if we have reason … Read More
