“Loss has taught me that the death of a spouse or partner affects every aspect of the day.” — Barbara R. Wheeler, DSW Barbara R. Wheeler, the author of this slim volume (so slim, I struggled to find it in the library’s hold section) spent her career teaching future clinical social workers. As a therapist … Read More
Amy flinched at Carrie’s facial expression as Carrie walked toward her. One more friend. One more awkward exchange. One more “How are you doing?” or some other such question. If you’ve followed this blog or read anything in the area of grief and grieving you know that the grieving process is often referred to as … Read More
“We don’t do grief. Yet grief still does us.” (About Grief, Marasco & Shuff, 2010) As in my previous post on eulogies, this reflection was inspired by a book currently on my desk. I’m taking a break from my day-to-day work and for 4 weeks, living in a different city with —to my delight — … Read More
“And he leaves to mourn, with fond and loving memories…” When I first began my work as a counsellor, I was asked about value of a eulogy “because they just make everyone cry”. My response was that, to me, the eulogy was vital to funeral or memorial service. The eulogy was the one time when … Read More
As our bodies age, we notice that scrapes and bumps which once healed quickly (and still do so on our young grandchildren’s bodies) now take months to disappear. Signs of aging and physical scars go together in lockstep. One scar, on my right thumb, now looking like the letter Y, has served me well as … Read More
“When all else fails, take a nap” — unknown (or maybe Mom) In addition to working as a counsellor and writing for Suddenly Single Survival Guide, I’m also an avid photographer. Having learned with a film camera, I have embraced digital photography wholeheartedly. But, as much as I love my camera, it does not work if … Read More
“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like … Read More
Regret usually isn’t the first grief emotion we experience. Shock and sadness hit first, but as time passes, a sense of sorrow that we missed doing or saying something becomes regret. I always use the metaphor of pot of stew to describe the emotional aspect of grief. The liquid is the sadness. Sadness washes over … Read More
“You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Imagine yourself as a piece of clay. As your life journey unfolds in front of … Read More
“Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak knits up the o-er wrought heart and bids it break.” – William Shakespeare (Macbeth) I once purchased a book with the title Give Sorrow Words having no idea that this phrase was quoting Shakespeare. I guess I missed that in Macbeth. The phrase, however, is wise counsel. … Read More
Marie continued to cry daily, in spite of the therapeutic work we had done together after her husband’s death. She struggled to understand how her adult children managed to just go on with their lives not long after the funeral. Did they not love their dad? She was still so raw and they appeared to … Read More
As you may have read in my biography on this site, I am a counsellor and thus, in my work, I see grieving clients regularly. Some are grieving a death but other times it is the loss of a relationship or even a job that he or she loved dearly. At some point in their first session, … Read More
